We’ve all seen Christmas dinners that weren’t exactly traditional – whether because a turkey failed to defrost, or was delivered well past its sell-by date, or simply because our mums decided to try something a bit more ambitious. But the seasonal offering at Heston Blumenthal’s world-famous Fat Duck is something else altogether.
The renowned chef offers a “gastronomical world of wonder” on his advent calendar-themed menu and, says restaurant reviewer Gary Hanna, the eccentric restaurateur certainly offers a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Starting with a ball of “aerated beetroot” to prepare the diner’s palette for the weird and wonderful treats to come, Heston’s Christmas dinner is anything but traditional. Perhaps at a cost of £455, something different is to be expected.
Gary’s visit, chronicled on his GaryEats channel, even included a visit to the three Michelin star restaurant’s “wine cellar,” which is of course on the first floor. “Nothing makes a great deal of sense here at the Fat Duck,” the waiter explained.
The service was characteristically playful and was the first sign of what Gary would come to describe the entire experience – "mad". The waiter serving Gary described the dishes as he was bringing them out, telling the stunned reviewer: “It’s full of all sorts of green things; You’ve got green tomatoes, green apples, you have nasturtiums, parsley, astroturf, John Deere tractors…” before admitting “I might have made some of those up.”
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After just one mouthful of Heston’s creation, Gary said: “It’s weird.” Aas remarkable as the Fat Duck’s Christmas menu is, it certainly isn’t cheap. Gary opted for a single glass of white wine, which set him back £21. Staying with the drinks, the waiter offered Gary that most traditional of Christmas drinks, a snowball.
Heston’s unique take on the Seventies classic, which included an egg immersed in liquid nitrogen, melted away as quickly as the improvised playground weapon that gave it its name. “That’s mad,” Gary exclaimed.
Every dish is presented as something between a magic trick and a chemistry experiment, including a “golden carrot” that dissolves into a beef-scented drink right in front of the astonished diner’s eyes.
“I ain’t got a Scooby-Doo what’s going on,” Gary said, as he was presented with yet another typical Heston dish – a creamy smoked salmon affair that defied explanation.
Heston’s take on the Christmas Sandwich, too, was on a surreal scale compared to the kind of offering you might find in Costa or Pret. The tiny sarnie was filled with prawn cocktail, along with a crunchy biscuit. “I don’t know what to make of that,” Gary said.
Finally, after that cavalcade of appetisers, the Christmas dinner proper began with a white chocolate and caviar starter. “I don’t really get it,” Gary said. “It works… but he’s mad.”
The venison-based main course, inspired by one of William the Conqueror’s favourite dishes, was nothing like any Christmas Dinner you’re likely to have had before. Accompanied by beetroot, chestnuts, and black truffle, “The King’s Venison” came with a portion of Umbles – a dish of venison offal often eaten by servants and poor folk that gave rise to the expression “Humble Pie”.
Cooked over a wood fire, the venison had a smokiness that Gary particularly enjoyed, virtually speechless with delight, he simply said: “It’s unbelievable.”
The next course was more than a little baffling, leaving Gary unsure which pieces he should actually eat. He continued: “It’s just like everything else I’ve had so far – it’s a little bit wacky, but it works.”
Rather than offering a glass of Sauternes as a pudding wine, Heston instead chose to present a “deconstructed” version that somehow evoked the distinctive flavour of the French dessert wine with a pile of what appeared to be ordinary grapes.
Similarly, the final act of Heston’s culinary drama was a “sweet shop,” an animatronic dolls’ house containing 48 drawers, each with a different prize inside. “Do not eat the box,” the waiter warned.
“You probably can eat the box,” replied a by-now completely mesmerised Gary.
“No, you can’t,” reiterated the waiter, sternly: “If you do, we will laugh and we will probably judge you just a little bit.”
In conclusion, Gary said, “That has got to be one of the most amazing, unbelievably strange, awesome, weird meals I've ever had. Ever!”
But it came at a price. Together with his glass of wine and a tip, Gary’s total bill for lunch came to £455. “Huge money,” he said. He added he would never return, quite simply because Christmas at the Fat Duck has to be a once-in-a-lifetime experience.